Monday, November 20, 2006


The key hits the lock. It’s a pad lock on the outside. I have a padlock on the outside and a hook for the same pad lock on the inside, that is in addition to the regular lock on the door. He was inside in a second. In another second he’s pants and shirt and coat were already on the floor and he has standing on top of the mattress with his fingers grasping in and out in and out all grabby and needy. Where was the statue that wouldn’t move until the last moment when we were being watched. I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, I think he was laughing too or at least smiling but you couldn’t be absolutely sure with that bandage on. His member was wagging up and down up and down like a arcade game

Whats happening to you?

Come here. Come fuck me

Just like that?

Whats wrong. You did yesterday and the day before that.

I need a little something more that your cock telling me its time. Haven’t you noticed what a mess I am.

I don’t care about that

You don’t

Just so long as I can lie down and have sex with you

I walked awau into the other room and I could hear him sigh as aubile as a donkey nehhing.

What wrong don’t you want to do it? Did I do something wrong?

Yes! Yes you did.


You’re making it seem like it is all that matters. That you aren’t even interested in me.

I don’t understand. Don’t you like doing it? I like doing it.

He reached to touch me and for the first time I found myself recoiling from his touch. It saddened me for a split second and then I was mad. Mad at him for making me feel like this. It might be selfish but I was mad at him for making me mad at him.

Why are you so impatient

It’s just that I ready cant you tell


Don’t you like it?

You could have wrapped it up like a birthday present

I’ve been having it like this, like this hard since I saw you outside the infidel ward

Outside the what?

The hospital. I mean the hospital

I stop I’m confused

Where’s yours?

My what

Your enthrobbed errongous zones

Same place they were last night, but they are enthrobbed pal.

Why not

Because you’re pissing me off

What did I do? What’s wrong what’s different.

Yesterday and the day before you were loving. You were gentle you were slow handed. You took your time, you relished ever second up to the doing it. Now you just want to get it done so that you can go back out to your other fucking hole. You love that hole in the earth why don’t you go fuck that tonight.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry It’s just. I’m so new. To all this. I want to do it right. I want to be happy. I want to make you happy.

Which comes first

Umm…You. I want o take you happy.

Do you know what happened to me today?


I told him the whole tale. He lightened up and seemed especially moved that I was so willing to defend our love, he didn’t say a word he just listened. A couple of time I was having rouble finishing the story or completing a thought because well there were 3 of us. Me, Him and he outrage boner. I think it had grown an inch or two sicne we got inside the cabin

Mother had never told me anything about that. I had seen erections before, but they were prarire dogs or they were olders barely able to sustain anything for longer that a couple heart beats.

I was distracted even a little scared. I don’t remember it being that big yesterday or the day before. Did he really get all of that inside me? I asked him to cover up.He sort of whimpered.

Don’t whimper alright. Your not sick your not hurt. Trust me I seen that stuff everyday.

We’re not going to do it

Not if you whimper

So we are going do it.

You put your pants on and I’ll think about it.

So he put his pants back on and listened or tried to listen to the rest of my story.

Im sorry they hurt you.

Quiet. He reached out to touch me and I let him. Then before I could relax in his embrace, I felt his finger nails at my buttons. I remembered that damn mailman on my mother and how parastic it seemed. Loving Fonda wasn’t like that before tonight.

Scolding him wasn’t working and telling him it wasn’t going to happen wasn’t a reality either the truth is I wanted to close to him, I wanted his love to cleanse away the hate I had been neck deep in at the hospital. So I tried another approach I tried to coax him into behaving a little better.

Please you must take your time, if you go so fast it’ll be over before you know it. I want it too, but I want it all night.

I can do that.

Slowly gentle don’t treat me like a thing you have to disrobe. Treat me like a you love me. Don’t handle me rough. That mean man hurt me. I need to to sooth it away to kiss it and make it better.

You mean I can kiss it. It’s not just meant for this. He laid on top of me so I could feel that thick cable pulsing inside his pants.

If you kiss mine I’ll kiss yours. I didn’t know what I was saying suddenly the act of touching that close got me drunk. His musk his glow was like too many beers like wanting another one and opening it and putting it to your lips before your goodie to shoe side can talk you out of it.

Kiss me dow there slow and cold with that sea breath you’ve got

Ok but you have to blind fold yourself first.

If I cant see it how can I find it to kiss it

I’ll help you

I laughed, I’m sure you will. I was teasing I could have found him easily. Suddenly he was everywhere. I pouted gently.

I want to watch. When will you let me watch.

Where I came from, you aren’t allow to watch

But you don’t live there anymore you live here with me. Your ways shouldn’t stop you here in our desert

He covered his ears quick and suddenly that hot rock of his shrunk. Quick like criminal fleeing a scene

No, no, no I cant I cant. Please you don’t understand. He was off the bed in an instance and cowering in the corner.

Did they do something to you?


Your people, did they cut your face or mark your skin in someway? It’s ok, you can tell. I’m a nurse

I want to do this so much, but you must never again ask that of me, please please don’t insist. He was weeping now. He was hurt and lost and I felt so guilty. I told him it was ok. That being in his embrace was more important than looking him in the eye when he took me. He probably smiled. He smiled with his eyes at least.

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