Saturday, November 25, 2006

22822 nanowrimo

More Fonda

Are my people diggers? Natural diggers? It would seem so. For I can remember that those here in the nightingales world can not do what I am doing now for them it would take a feet of superhuman strength. Because I can do this they might even question if I am human? Am I human or am I not? I must be human of at least , at the very least some small part of me must be. I need somepart of me to not only approximate their appearance their carbon design, their anatomical architecture. I need for some part of me to be human. I don’t just want to find something to stick inside her when we are both in the mood. I want it to be natural, I want it to be pretty too be perfect. I want it be like when I make love to her, I want it to be as holy as it feels. How could that be if we aren’t the same specie at least in some way. In some parts. The erogenous zones, the reproductive organs, the mind maybe. Is it my mind? I think I am human therefore I am. I think this is my specie so it it? If my mother and my brothers, yes I am quite confident now it is my brothers, are they not human simply because they wish it, what did mother wish? I think her wished were all tied up in the unity of her brothers. She would want not one of the human the remaining snakes. She would want all to be human or all too be snakes. She would want family regardless and that would require unity of specie. Unity of chromosomal structure. If I know what a chromosome is, is it at all possible that I don’t know what my own chromosomes are. My mouth , my jaw is the biggest difference between me the bride I desire. Was I born like? Or was I made. I cant remember, none of can. That isn’t my sandstorm inspired amnesia, that is just a lack of facts. There was a preist I think and I think we asked him. He told us we were made in the image of our god, but were made my whom in that image, was I already in that form when I left the mothers womb if I was then how similar am I now to that infant. Is god an infant? Was my jaw bone circumsized and split into two so that it would work differently, did my god swallow eggs whole. Did someone chop up the image of my god? Are we he an I in the same image but perhaps an image not intented by his original design, his original concept? Isnt it all about the fatua, the jihad, the end of the enemy by any means necessary even if that means the end of the world? And is nioghtengale thsat enemy? No please no, please no. romeo and Juliet…I remember reading that now. I asked the preist about it and he said that they were 2 young children who let the demends of their physical bodies negate the sowrn oaths they had made to they religion, their families, their species. They were damned to be beaten in hell for enternity. All this so that they might be able to commingle their incompatiable dna. All this in the uneducated hopes of bearing some sort of bastard monster child that wont be accepted by either clan. But father aren’t we too a bastard clan? Outside our village outside our region are we not too outcasts like the monster child of juilet? He told my brothers, that he could change one of them to be like one of us. He could perform the ritual which made them part of our snake clan, part of our species. Is it more than a jaw bone father. He persecuted my tiny mind. He cleansed doubt out of me, he made me stay up night and day until my mind gave way, my reason give way and I started to understand that the truth demands obidence, no questions, that the mind must not be poisoned and that I must renounce this story this causcasin myth of romeo and juiliet and unprue tale about unpure people and jusy one stepping stone on there way to total damnation. We were not hiding we were in sanctuary. He cursed the day I found that old used book. It opened my mind, but if you opne a mind too wide you endanger it, A soul can fall out of such an open mind like water out of an open jug. Just tip it too much and the earth will steal it from you. Close the jug, and close the mind.

Digging digging repeating over again sinner sinner, and as I say it I clench my teeth. I hold it back and it almost seems as if my pores have opened up like a chorus and now chant as I wonder recall and dig.

Now the voice are in consternation, they aren’t only angry at me, they are angry at others, there is a small rebellion going on with in our ranks and I fear that my mother’s wished are being torn apart. I snes too that nightingale is not alone not anymore. Perhaps it is time from me to reemerge from my hole. I have so many questions. More questions that answers. I am not used to questions. I can tell that. I’m certain of what anymore, but I feel that not so long ago I was certain. Nothing could have penetrated my certainy and was that a good thing or a bad thing? Do I long for such certainy? Or am I free? Fear freedom? As I make my way back to the mouth of the cave, I realize that I am not supposed to be alone, that even though I was not conscious of it, I was digging so hard to make up for lost time. For lost time to the love making and the crooning and the swooning. I had something else in mind other than falling in love. I didn’t come to this infidel’s world for that. Infidel…infidel…are those the sinners I keep chanting about as I dig? Yes a voice says. Yes those are why. Hate hate as hard as you can because they took away your mother. Our mother. Now I remember. I remember it all. I remember her dead body and I remember the priest

I am getting a sense as I get closer to the rim that something is wrong. I just can taste it in the air, the sort of way you can taste pheromones I can taste trouble. As I get to the rim I see her, my nightingale something is wrong she is all disheveled like she has been attacked, I can see brusies on her throuat and hands and she is locked the door behind her. She is locked something inside? What could it be? Oh no! Brothers! Brothers! I am filled with blood lust I want to cut them. She is mine she is not yours I will not share her. She is nto a meal, she is not an infidel she is my mate and I will cut you for attempting to breed with her. But she is running now, she sees me and her eyes are full of fear. No that cant be, she is going to be my lover, the mother of my children. I will rip off this jaw bone if that is wahts sperates us as species. Anything I would give anything to know that woman. I chase her for a little bit begging and pleading at the top of my lungs but it is no good she is fast too fast the speed thast only fear can bring. My brothers are fast too, fast on my trail or hers? I decide that the only way to save her in this moment is to turn around to face them. I am out numbered but I can give her time she needs to find a safe place a safe haven. And if I can survive the passions of my brothers then maybe I will find her again on this desert. That was my only choice and so with that I turned to take them on. We met with pistols drawn but before I shot was fired something struck me from behind. I passed out. No instead I pulled to side to wait for my brother to pass by and then I would attack him from the rear. I didn’t know that there were going to be 2 of them so when the first pasted I got out of my hiding place and aimed my pistol at his shoulder I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted to stop him. My plan was to fire a warning shot past his shoulder and when he turned around shot the pistol from his hand. It is a trick I’ve done before. Now that my memories were returning…I remember ed that I was an excellent shot. All the brothers were. But I would have the drop on him because his back was to me, but I had my back to the third brother and he did the same trick to me just seconds after I did it to him. But I stopped them. I hope it was just the two of them

How many of us have arrived I asked

You are looking at it

Just three then?

Thursday is on his way. Thursday is not going to be happy. Thursday will be mad at all of us. But, we blame you. You were the leader the eldest, you were the one who set the example

Did you? Did you touch her?

Quiet brother. Be quiet don’t ask questions. It is you who will be interrogated.

I prayed that nightingale would stay away from the hospital so that my brother would not find her there as the other 2 had. Stike that last bit as I had. I guess the other two had done the same thing.

They closed in on me one from behind the other from the front. I was struck from behind with the butt of a gun.

Dark now. Black. I want to be touched before I pass out. Call out for my nightingale.

Blackout

Chapter - Mongesse abduct the Nurse

The sun was rising. The sky was pink. Usually this early morning you can hear nothing. The wind always seems to subside with the dawn. The silence is broken by the soft drop of a single drop of dew plopping onto a rock or attempting refuge in the sand. All night the only sounds I could hear were the beating of my chest and the rasping of my breathe. I ran and when I couldn’t run I crawled. But now I ws lying on my back trying to capture my breathe trying to capture any bit of strength and trying to figure out now where I could go. Maybe this was it? Maybe I was going to join mother now. The sound of it ws so pleasant. It would be selfish of me but I would ask her to cook me biscuits warmed over with melted govt cheese. She would give me a look half loving and half scolding but she too would be so overjoyed to be with me and in my prescene tht ahse would make them happily and we could share them. I could tell he about my man or at least about the first night. I would leave the rest out of the tail. But she would know that something amiss happened, but now that we have both made it to the promised land of heaven she would let by gones be by gones and just kiss my forehead and say that doesn’t matter now. All the matters is we are togther. We are family and we are knit togther in a weave that time and flesh cant unravel. Not anymore. Have anther biscuit dear. I’ll make as many as you wish.

A memoery a mirage, a wish fulfill vizulaized? I don’t care. It’s nice and I don’t hear any bedoiun steps closing in on me, I can hide in this refuge for a few minutes more, I think it gives me strength.

My mother has a ladle which in drops into the big hot pot of govt cheese that has been melted into a sauce. By itself it is not much, but she has some secrets on how to make it better a mother’s screts and she wont share them with me until I too am a mother. This is a sauce that you don’t just make, you make it with love for your children. I gladly make it for you unitl you can make it for my grand kids. Then It hits her we are not in the material realm anymore and is it too late for that. If tears can be shed here they are. We both cry and hold each other. Then my stomach does cart wheels. I don’t know what it is. Mother what is happening? She says it might be labor pains.

Did you impregnate me fonda? Is this your child in here? How could that be? I bled so much red sand last night? I look around and don’t see the sand today no trace of sand in my nostrils or mouth or vagina like I was so sure of last night. But how could I be sure of anything. Not one fonda but three. Talking TVs and now my dead mother and I are talking about grandchildren and cheese saude recipes for govt cheese. Mother waves goodbye. You are too confused my child and my being here in your mind is too much right now so I go, or if you must then put me back on the shelve of your mind and take me out again when there is less. You need your wits about you, dear your in incredible danger I fear and this nostalgia is only a salve a temporary rest that might not be the best for you what it danger came upon you while you were deep inside your mind fantastising about me? Wake up baby. You must wake up.

I fell asleep on the rocks. And now I was awake. You know how when we are in dreams sometimes we aren’t sure whether it is a dream or reality but as soon as we wake up actually open our eyes and get up off the bedm the or chair or the floor we know what was a dream.

Off in the distance of the horizon in the direction of the hospital I see a disturbance in the sand. It appears as if a number of the inmates were floating towards me. On a cloud of sand, or more like a block of sand. A huge block about as tall as a floor at the hospital and about a wide as 3 beds lined up length wise. How many of the olders were on this block of sand and how was it moving. Maybe I was wrong and I had not yet woke up. They were moving fast right for me, I thought about fleeing, but I had been doing that all night and there was no way I could out run this block of sand they had. So I stood there to take it what ever it was that was rushing toward me what kind of sand made chariot with olders at the helm. And just as I might have guessed once it got close enough for my to make out faces the one driving or aiming or controlling this huge block of sand was the judge. But the horror or horror was that I did not recognize him because of the missing nose because of the two dozen or so olders riding the desert beast they all had there noses cut off, they were all of them every one bleeding profusely from their face some wore the wound proudly like a badge of courage others were covering there wound trying to rptect it from the heat and sand, some still seemed to be in throws of the initial pain such a wound make when it happened.

The judge was identifiable though at the head of his group of mad men. In addition to his nose it appears that he had cut of his ears as well. He sure kept his tomgue though cause over the breathing of the piece of snad rock a breathing than never stopped I could still hear him yelling but this time he was yelling “We are the mongeese” and they chanted after him. Like the chants we used to do in my grade school, the double dutch calls we made out to each other. One person yells and then the rest repeat rhythmically. The judge got a hold of me with the peepers and turned the sand block beast right for me and then as it got closer it slowed and I could see that it was no block of sand but a huge engined wagon similar to the one that the mailman used to move across the desert pan the desert skillet. I could see it had been expertly painted so as to look like sand it was camuflouge

The judge looked so satified at me. As if he had won.

I know

What do you know

I know something is wrong

How can you tell

Your wandering alone here in the desert. You aren’t on your way to the hospital. You’re disshevelled it doesn’t take a genius. Any mongoose even a baby mongoose could tell.

What is with this mongoose crap

That is what we are. We are the mongeese. We are those who came who sacfice our flesh and ourselves to the cause of destroying the serpent we are here tostop the apocalypse and be warned little girl. You can not stop the mongeese.

They all shouted to each other like pirates even the ones still in the those of emmense pain.

Did these men cut of there own noses?

Yes

Do you realize how dangerous that is?

Bahh!

We have to give them all medicial attention. How long ago did this happen did you keep the noses. Perhaps we can even attach some of the noses.

We made the noses into a big broth and we each drank deep from it, that is how we are now one brotherhood we never want to return to being just men, we aremore and I would think that a little appreciation is in order

He sneered. So have you discovered the truth of what I told you yesterday before you released our wrath?

What?

That the sand dancers have no word in their vocabulary for freedom?

I tried to change the subject my anger was back now. It put my fear to one side and I was almost grateful for that. So I asked him where did you get this machine?

They have been dropping more than just grapefruit and saline in this desert

Who are they

The govt, the military

They dropped this machine

They did in pieces and I have been spending my evenings, we all have actually constructing this out of the camulfogues pieces parachuted for the past 12 months within a 2 mile radius of the va hospital. We are the last great stand against the desert dangers. We thought they had all been corralled but they haven’t a final tribe exists and we are going to stop them.

At that point a net was throw over me. It tangled me quite good but it took those old mice men at least five minutes to haul me into the back of the machine. It might have even been comical if it weren’t me, but it was me. In the back of the truck there was blood and bandages everywhere a couple of the old men were pleading with me for help, one even asked if I would kill him because he couldn’t stand the pain anymore. I could see strains of gangrene growing across the judges face. I told him of this and he just insisted that that meant they were running out of time. Nothing could stop his descent into the dirt from which he made he claimed and no worrying over gangrene could stop that now, we have very little time. We must find them and kill them. He wanted me to lead them to him. I would not. I was able to untangle myself from the net and started punching at the old men, which ever one was closest. With them all somewhat weakened due to blood lose or infection they fought back feebly. All except the judge who still seemed to have sort of super human strength. He grabbed me again and threw me from the back of the truck cursing me as loudly as possible. Damn you girl. I will find them myself. He didn’t know where he was going. But anyway that meant nothing to me. He threw me off and now the sand block machine was driving off in the distance swearving and buckling. I think it almost turned over. When I landed I had broken my forearm I could feel it and I could hear it. I had no choice now. I had to go to the hospital. It was the only place I think I would have been able to properly set it and I wanted to get some antibiotics and such. I was going to probably have to try to hike out of this desert and all those noseless faces reminded me of the importance of having such medicines when you travel through such hard harsh terrain. And at least it appeared the most crazy of the old mice men were on their wild mongeese chase through the desert probably to castrate fonda form having gotten his cock inside me while none of them ever could. That was mother’s reasoning comoing out of me. Anyway off to the hospital.

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