Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Manifesto?

I use to make manifestos. i dont think I'm going to anymore

Where the f*ck's your manifesto?

Manifestos get in the way of my art

Monday, October 30, 2006

That wonderful sound!

Saturday I had something quite wonderful happen. Something that hasn't happened to me in over a year. I got to hear performers speaking words that I had written. Ok it was over a speakerphone, but since it was a radio show script...well that made it all the better.

The only downside was when the sketch was over and they had to hang up the phone. i wanted to be there in the room with them twice as badly now that I had been teased by the hearing of those words.

Man, I cant wait to get back!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Why

Trying to remember why I got hook in the first place.

Of course there were my delusions of grandeur, my childhood desires to enter the world of George Lucas and the understanding that acting was a way in, also the enormous wealth that those people always seem to be displaying.

I needed attention. i felt that my day to day life wasn't fulfilling so what better way to escape into another world than to get up on stage moving in that world with eyes of dozens or hundreds or thousands upon you reacting to everything you say or do. What a power trip.

Friday, October 06, 2006

My hope

My hope is that soon this blog will return to the issues that feel the most pressing the most interesting to my conscious...namely theatre and art.

I am so engrossed in the negative. I hate my job. I dont hate the people I work for, but I hate this situation that they have created there. It is poisonous to me. So, much so that I've been asking myself, if It would be better to make my leave sooner. By sooner I mean at the end of the month.

I am sure that they will screw around with that final check. I am sure that I will have significantly less in the last check. And, I dont see the point of giving them anymore of myself if that is going to be the case.

Maybe, I should just bite the bullet and leave on the first. Just move into the next part of my life...all this waiting is just stabbing away at me.

coffee and conspiracy

How important is coffee? It gets to be real important after a while. The coffee in my office sucks. It's some sort of brand you can buy in 25 pound bags from Sam's. It pretty much makes a pot of brown water with no flavor that will definately give you a case of daily GERD.

People are now spying on other people here in the office pretty regularly. There is such an air of anger and distrust in this office it is palpable like fog. I've been spied on by my manager, by sales (wanting to find out who can act as secretary to sales...you know...hey charles...you dont look busy could you make a couple calls for me)

Ugh! Just three more weeks of face to face and then im out!

Monday, October 02, 2006

another one about the same stuff as so many others

Thinking about the future. It's almost like new year's day. I get to come up with a new list of resolutions for my new/old life I'm returning to in chicago. Oh you cold strumpet. Oh you whore bitch lover I cant live without. I'm sure glad I didn't give all my sweaters away to goodwill when I moved south.

I will miss the south in certain ways. I will miss the sweet tea (I once accidentally called it sweat tea in an email). I will miss the trees. The green green trees, a forest's worth right outside my window. i will miss all the space in my huge apartment...(although to be honest, it is just a space to spread out my dirty clothes and crumpled up unpaid bills).

1) I will write everyday (although not always in this blog.)

2) Before I leave I will go to the Georgia Aquarium

But, I cant wait to
goto the Art Institute again.
To see a Bears game.
Eat at the ESPNzone without having to pay for valet parking,
concert series next summer in millenium park,
Work on Clay Continent with my good good friends
Wrigley, The Cell
The Harold Washington Library
Take a class at the old folk school

Lord I think its going to be tough at first. Looking for work and even missing my old job at the AMA. But who knows I might get an even better job. I might be able to survive by just temping like I did in NY for a year and a half. Who knows???

3) Go see at least one play a month

wow who would have thought for an enthusist like myself I'd have to make such a resolution (cynicism, exhaustion, etc)

4) Lose the weight. Get healthy. Live long and happy

My back is aching me and it's my own doing for getting so heavy and out of shape. I remember last baseball season being able to break in to a sprint, now I'm afraid of straining my back rolling out of bed. I've had it with this.