Today I found an old love. I watched Hannah and her Sisters. I remember being a young man in Florida starving for something exceptional, involving... The VCR was still novel and we the people never before had the opportunity to watch what we wanted when we wanted. After being exposed to Woody Allen, I found I wanted to watch him, everything he ever wrote. Then Woody Allen told me to watch Ingmar Bergman and from there I moved onto Kurosawa, Fellini, the videotape became a window to worlds unknown to me. Those worlds inspired me to want to makes worlds of my own.
Seeing that movie made me feel young again. It reminded of how I felt and thought back then. When my mind was a fresh untouched (or less touched) canvas. I was filled with the excitement of discovery. We must remember that feeling of discovery.
Self discovery? Are there depths which to dive to within me? Are there tales to be told and worth telling within my reach?
I used to always attempt to stretch to reach an inch or a mile past my certainty. I have aged and been scarred as a result. And, it is with a sense a apprehension I write this...as a younger man I thought I had nothing to lose. Now decades later, I know better.
But, doesn't this make the effort, the reaching toward a higher plateau even more heroic? Yes my body aches, but it is not yet broken. Should I break myself? Will not nature eventually break me? So if I am to be broken, should it not be in service to those dreams those goals. Should not the old man gasp trying to realize the vision of youth with the experience of one's mileage on the this darned earth?