So yesterday was the reading of my boxing noir piece "I Can't Go Down".
Some time has passed since I've been in that sort of environment, a place where you invite others to comment upon something you've been working on or dreaming about for such a length of time.
It is hard not to feel exposed, over exposed. But, just like a visit to the doctor, you have to take off your clothes in order for a most comprehensive examination.
When it was over, one of the participates asked me how I was feeling. Up until the morning of the reading I had one very definite positive feeling. But after the reading, or more specifically after the post show critic and commentary, I felt a little lethargic...There was a part of me that was ready to set thing down, to say "Alright you finished! Good job!", but the feeling I have now is "The first draft has its beginning, middle, and end...now the real work begins...".
I am a little exhausted this morning. I wanted to rest and see the taxidermied head of this script displayed proudly on my mantle, but not yet. So, my plan is to draw up a list of things I want to incorporate from yesterday's notes that I think might not be there yet. Then, I'm going to put this thing away for a week or two. Then come back to it. I feel I have something here that is very good, and if I can sculpt it a little more, who knows maybe I'll have something truly great.
Focusing solely on the positive...after we had picked voraciously at anything mole on the skin of the script that might possibly be melanomous, the majority of consensus was that...
a) the tale being told was compelling.
b) that the characters were well drawn, distinctive, and for lack of a better word...fun...the sort of characters that actors love to play.
c) that even if the text could use some paring down in places, the core of the language used had a poetry and lyricism that rang true.
So, I'll put that in my pocket when I need a little cheering up from time to time.