Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Rough Cut Fairy Tale 2nd Pass Scene One

(Morning. Sun can heard outside blazing like an inferno when a bit of beam creeps through the fake plastic venetian blinds situated upstage. Downstage is BIRDY in BIRDY'S SPACE. It si hard to tell if BIRDY is a young vicious woman, an angry teen who's using her hormones to burn through the last of her baby fat. BIRDY'S SPACE is a sort of combination between Joseph Cornell Light Box and a fortress built out of pillows and sofa cushions. BIRDY is passed out on her stomach. BIRDY'S SPACE is comfortable and ornate, but small enough that when she lies down, BIRDY'S feet protrude from onside as her head ans shoulders protrude from the other. Next to BIRDY'S face, which is almost flattened into the shag carpet, is am mp3 player and headphones set so loud we can hear the tinny sound of whatever she was listening too last night. From offstage we hear TURTLE.)

TURTLE - Morning!

BIRDY - Not Yet

TURTLE - Time to get up!

BIRDY - (Under her breath) Shut the fuck up

TURTLE - Cockadoodle do Shit head!

BIRDY - Leave me alone

TURTLE enters. TURTLE is BIRDY'S older sister, but only by a few years. Still those few years have seemed a dog's age. TURTLE still has a apple of youth to her cheek, even if her demeanor is one of always striving towards maturity, soberity, chastity. TURTLE is dressed in two layers. Her first layer is a flannel shirt, dickie's blue jeans, and Steel Toe Slip resistent boots from Wal Mart. The second layer on top of that is a 50's Donna Reed style dress, pearls, and a flowery apron. TURTLE has a feather duster in her hand. She is annoyed with BIRDY. She goes to the blinds and opens them. The light invades the space like a flamethrow's would. BIRDY cries almost screams

BIRDY - Too much! Too much! Shut the blinds!

TURTLE - Are you getting up!

BIRDY - Shut the blinds bitch!

TURTLE - Promise

BIRDY - (Transylvanian accent) But, I'm a Monster!

(TURTLE shuts blinds for a second. BIRDY falls back down as if to sleep. TURTLE hits her again with the light. BIRDY hisses like a vampire.)

BIRDY
Fine! Fine! (BIRDY hasnt yet moved)

TURTLE
Roll over on your back

BIRDY
What?

TURTLE
Roll over on your back, so I know you wont fall asleep again

BIRDY
Bitch that shit only works on you. I can sleep all I want on my back.

TURTLE
How do I know you wont fall back to sleep again?

BIRDY
You don't! Not unless you cook me some breakfast

TURTLE
I always cook breakfast

BIRDY
And I always wake up to eat it don't I?

TURTLE
Touche' Shithead Touche'

BIRDY
I want bacon

TURTLE
Bacon?

BIRDY
Yeah!

TURTLE
You never used to eat bacon

BIRDY
Last night I had half of some guy's moon over my hammy, and now (snaps her fingers) Just like that... I eat bacon.

TURTLE
What you need is fresh fruit (TURTLE sees something on BIRDY'S ankle. She tries to brush it of with the feather duster) Vitamins are good for you.

BIRDY
(Face fallen back into the shag carpet) Bacon's better. Better for a hangover.

TURTLE
Alright you can stop rubbing it in my face! You drink I get it!

BIRDY
Alot

TURTLE
Alot!

BIRDY
I drink alot! And now you get it! (TURTLE has been trying to brush something off of BIRDY'S foot) Stop that! I'm up alright! I'm up! (BIRDY finally rolls over and starts to stretch and wake)

TURTLE
You've got something there

BIRDY
Yeah

TURTLE
Is that a scratch? Some dirt?

BIRDY
Something dirty you mean? Ha!

TURTLE
You didn't track it in here? How hard is it to clean you feet? Huh?

BIRDY
Stop! It's not coming off (BIRDY wipes at it to show).

TURTLE
I hope that isnt what I think it is

BIRDY
"I hope that isnt what I meh meh meh"

TURTLE
Oh No Oh No you didn't! Please tell me you didn't. (TURTLE has dropped the feather duster and fallen to her knees almost at the verge of tears)

BIRDY
(hesitant. This little bit of rebellion isnt as fun as she thought it would be). I did

TURTLE
A tattoo?

BIRDY
Yes?

TURTLE
(To the heavens) I'm sorry mother.

BIRDY
Stop that already

TURTLE
What is it? It doesnt even look like anything?

BIRDY
It is a letter

TURTLE
A letter?

BIRDY
Yeah

TURTLE
It doesnt look like a letter

BIRDY
Chinese letter, or rather character?

TURTLE
Do you know any Chinese?

BIRDY
A little

TURTLE
What is it supposed to mean?

BIRDY
It is the Chinese character for Bacon!

(TURTLES face drops. She keeps repeating over and over...)
TURTLE

I'm sorry mother. I'm sorry mother.

BIRDY
It was a joke Turtle

TURTLE
Well how was I supposed to know that?

BIRDY
You really think I'm dumb enough to get the word 'bacon' tattooed on my ankle in Chinese?

TURTLE
I never thought you were stupid enough to get a tattoo of anykind anywhere on your body.

BIRDY
Why not? It's fun!

TURTLE
It is forever. Unless you get those painful laser needle things, you are going to have to go around forever with...that on your ankle. Whatever the heck that means? What does it mean? Really?

BIRDY
Really?

TURTLE
Please

BIRDY
I don't know

TURTLE
You don't know what it means? What would possess you to get it?

BIRDY
I thought it looked neat

TURTLE
But it isnt just decoration!

BIRDY
Why not?

TURTLE
No! It means something

BIRDY
No it doesn't

TURTLE
Yes it does. And you don't even know what it means? It could be something terrible

BIRDY
Wooooooo! Something terrible!

TURTLE
It could be asian for 'slut' or 'whore'

BIRDY
Or 'Devvvvvilllll!'

TURTLE
Oh no! Oh no!

BIRDY
Alright! Alright! It doesn't mean devil

TURTLE
How do you know that? Look at it? I think it might! The letter even looks like it has horns.

BIRDY
It doesnt mean devil!

TURTLE
What then?

BIRDY
The tattoo guy told me there was no literal word to compare it too, but if he had to it would better something like "action!"

TURTLE
Action!

BIRDY
Like when they shoot a picture and everything happens! "Action" "Move" "Go Go Go"

TURTLE
Mother is rolling in her grave

BIRDY
Well, she's going to have to get use to it. Any so will you.

TURTLE
Yeah?

BIRDY
Yeah?

TURTLE
Well then! Make your own fucking breakfast (TURTLE reaches into the pocket of her apron takes out a spatula and throws it at BIRDY. TURTLE gets up to go, but before she leaves she opens the blinds again. BIRDY covers her eyes and yells "shit!". The Sun burns like inferno until the blackout)

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