Saturday, May 30, 2009

PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH
Scene Nine

Scene Nine

(The SNAILMAN'S CLUB. BIRDY is standing at the back of the crowd trying to push in. She is feeling a bit put off at the way she was rejected a couple nights earlier. Still she is not one to give up, so she sharpens her elbows and pushes her way to the front of the pack. She catches the BIG BOUNCER'S eye. He isn't sure he is going to let her back in. He shrugs and says...)

BIG BOUNCER
What you got for me tonight?

(BIRDY is considering doing BIG BOUNCER a favor but she is feeling a little over it. While she is debating whether or not to perform a lurid act to get past the door, the other club girls are lining up to defile, debase, do the nasty to get in and get close the the SNAILMAN'S secretions. The shine is off the apple for BIRDY and she might be about to leave, but suddenly the SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH is at her heel almost magically.)

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Birdy! It is so good see you! I was starting to worry. Where have you been? I thought you might have gotten abducted by those video boys with the mini vans and the mirror tinted windows!

BIRDY
I couldn't get in the other night.

SNAILMAN BOY BITCH
Really? That doesn't make any sense.

BIRDY
So, I took a walk around the block

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
You couldn't get in?!!! That is most disturbing to hear.

BIRDY
Nope. Turned away.

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Well, that is not the sort of thing I want hear. Unsettling that you were sent packing. (BOY BITCH gives BIG BOUNCER a very dirty look as well as an ominous gesture) Because, I have to tell you... Here in this place, you've made a real impression.

BIRDY
I did?

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Yes you did! A very good impression?

BIRDY
Really?

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
You are well liked. We are all very fond of you.

BIRDY
We?

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Yes, we?

BIRDY
Who is we?

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
(Sighs) Is it not enough to say that you were missed with giving you a list of who did and how much? Birdy Birdy Birdy...there is a proper way to take a compliment and an improper way. Let's leave it at 'we'...ok?

(SNAILMAN BOY BITCH leads BIRDY to the center of the dance floor)

Look everyone! Birdy is back!

(General applause. Someone even gives her a little gift. Music starts)

Take the lead Birdy! We've love you to take the lead!

(BIRDY leads them all in a synchronized dance. After a bit, the music and lights suddenly switch off as if the power fails. In the blackout we hear the sound of broken glass and the laughter of the BOX MAN in the distance. The lights and music suddenly kick back on and the SNAILMAN is standing beside BIRDY magically manifested. The dance continues, but they are definitely the focus of everyone's attention, the prince and princess at the fairy tale ball. The first song finishes. The second song starts. The people still dance in a synchronized manner. But then one tiny asian man dressed all in goth/emo black seems to pull away from the pack. Slowly but surely one person after another switches focus towards the asian man who has somehow
produced a suitcase. He opens the suitcase, dancing to the music and slowly stripping off his clothes to the beat of the music till it is just him in his underwear. The crowd loves it, cheering him on thinking he is about to go totally nude, but then again to the beat he pulls out fat fingered cartoony gloves. The crowd is confused but still rambunctious and joyful till the asian man pulls a pink furry suit out of the suitcase. The DJ's needle scratches, sudden silence. The crowd is shocked silence and not pleased. The FURRIE KING doesn't care. He start verbalizing his own beats and then produces a boombox from the suitcase which he turns on to keep the beat going. Michael Jackson muzak from the boom box. Finally the Rabbit mask goes over the FURRIE KING'S head, he spins around in a classic Michael Jackson move, snaps his fingers and we see that he is not alone. A trio of his gang are in the midst of the club, they don't have full on furrie suits, but still each produces the fabric remnants of teddy bears or other such similar stuff animals, but with the stuffing removed and eye/mouth holes cut into the bears' bellies. They don the animal skins like masks. FURRIE KING gestures, a warlike call is let out. Someone hands the SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH a microphone.)

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Raaaaaabbbbbbbbaaaaatttttttt! This aint no furrie turf!!!

(One of the FURRIE KING'S men grabs the DJ)

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
They stuff the DJ

(FURRIE SOLDIER starts up the music again. Again it is some Michael Jackson Muzak. SNAILMAN beckons the microphone, stands off like a gunfighter across from the FURRIE KING and commands his gang)

SNAILMAN
Men...Boy Bitch? It is time to bounce these fucking furries.

(The fight begins slow sort of like a toreador match. People are watching, then something happens and fear and screams start to fill the room. Anyone who doesn't want to get into the fight starts fleeing in all directions. It is massive violent chaos in the club. BIRDY is getting pushed out the door by a crowd of club girls worried about getting beaten. Just before she is pushed out, BIRDY sees what appears to be SNAILMAN standing over the fallen FURRIE KING. SNAILMAN plunges a hand into the FURRIE KING'S suit. It comes back out of the suit covered in blood. Sirens. BIRDY screams. SNAILMAN turns to her.)

SNAILMAN
Birdy! Did you do this?! Did you bring these into my realm?

(Most of the crowds has now fled. The SNAILMAN'S gang has subdued and is now torturing the FURRIE KING'S minions. The lights are dim now, it is hard to confirm if that is blood on the SNAILMAN'S hands.)

SNAILMAN
Did you bring in these!?

BIRDY
No! No! It wasn't me!

(Echoes of the BOX MAN'S laugh. SNAILMAN hears it. And disappears as quickly as he manifested earlier)

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Birdy! Birdy! It is alright! Rival gangs. Happens all the time. The man in the Furrie Suit... well he was a bad man. Something like this was bound to happen.

BIRDY
Snail?!

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Oh him? He's fine... I mean...he'll be just fine.

(We hear one of the FURRIE SOLDIER'S scream in pain.)

But, still I think we've got to shut it down early tonight.

BIRDY
You'll tell him?

SNAILMAN BOY BITCH
Tell him what?

BIRDY
Tell him I had nothing to do with this?

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Oh he knows that!

BIRDY
But he said...

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Don't worry about that. Now, I hope you'll be back tomorrow night. Don't lets make it a habit of you skipping out the party. Remember, you are well liked in these parts. We'll see you tomorrow?

(BIRDY has now been successfully pushed out the door. SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH doesn't even await a response before he slams the door shut on a completed stunned BIRDY. She turns and starts walking away stunned. The door sudden opens again. BOY BITCH says...)

SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH
Tomorrow Birdy! You must come back tomorrow? OK dearie?

(She nods. He retreats back inside and closes the door. BIRDY passes out. A large cardboard box starts laughing and moving toward her.

If this ends up being a two act play, this is probably a great place to end the first act)

PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH
Scene 3.5

Scene Three.Five

BIRDY has returned home from her adventure at the SNAILMAN'S club. She is trying to make sure that she doesn't wake up TURTLE but due to her state of toxicity is being much louder than she would want. She playfully tip toes over to TURTLE'S SPACE with is zippered up. BIRDY peaks into one of the holes in the fabric, she smiles seeming satisfied that TURTLE has not been woken up. BIRDY goes over to her space. She pulls out an old stuffed doll or animal (Anything other than a turtle or a bird) and she begins to tell it all about the evening she just had. From one of the holes in canvas, TURTLE'S hand slowly emerges holding the TURTLE AMULET which is a cellphone. TURTLE is using the camera feature to spy on her sister. BIRDY confides to the stuff toy.

BIRDY

So, I said "What's your name" and then he said "You're kidding" right? Like I'm supposed to have read about him in some tabloid or something. So I said "Don't be an asshole" and then he said "Put My Finger in Your Mouth" and then I did.

(BIRDY puts the toy to ear to let it respond. She has a little conversation)

Yeah! I know! I know!

Because...

Because I wanted to. That's why.

I don't know. Everybody was trying to. If everyone wants it, then it must be pretty awesome.

(TURTLE makes a noise. BIRDY hears it. TURTLE retreats quick. BIRDY dismisses the noise. TURTLE sneaks the AMULET/CELLPHONE back through the hole.)

Well, shut up and I'll tell you. It was weird like he secreted something some kind of syrup right out of the tip of each finger. It was sweet and dirty smelling at the same time. I couldn't taste it, but I could feel it, the texture of it.

It was like meringue. A slice of Ghost Meringue Pie

Well, I felt light and then I felt heavy and then I got horny. I telling that meringue get you so horny you'll rub yer junk against the carpet.

(TURTLE makes noise. BIRDY hears and gets up to take a step toward TURTLE'S SPACE. TURTLE retreats again fast. BIRDY dismisses and returns to the stuffed toy.)

No, no, no I thought I was going to but I held back. I canoodled. A Little oral and then I got out of there before I gave up anything else.

Yeah

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe cause I like him. Maybe cause he's hot.

You don't know that.

Well, let's not worry about where's he's been. I'm interested where's he's going. Maybe get him to take me along.

Alright. Good night. Good night

(BIRDY falls asleep almost instantly. Snores. TURTLE can be heard crying inside her space.)

Friday, May 29, 2009

Artsy Fartsy Questions

If time were a limitless resource for you right now, what would you be focusing on artistically?

If you knew that time was extremely limited, what would you change or put your very limited resource into?

I have been an advocate of polymath approaches to art and narrative. Is it just a pipe dream?

Is one medium just too consuming that other mediums are no longer viable options to most of my fellow storytellers?

If you were suddenly 16 years old again, knowing what you know now, what would you change about your artistic pursuit?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Thank You Chicago!

Many of you who read this blog are friends and Chicagoans. Which means there is a good chance you came to see DEVILS DON'T FORGET. Thank You!

I've been posting here alot about PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH, the new project that I'm writing for the Right Brain Project. I hope you have been enjoying seeing this crazy script unfold.

I'll be continuing the posting about it (but will at some point halt posting Script excerpts...I want there to be some sort of surprise when you see it). I'll be talking about the process of writing it, and how it has been different from the typical Mammal projects I've been immersed in for most of the past decade.

I am also about to begin workshops for SEVEN SNAKES. I'll have some thoughts and excerpts and production photos from that soon too.

I'll be offline for a few days...ahhhh Puerto Rico!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH
Scene Eight

Scene Eight
 
(It is just before dawn. TURTLE wanders back into the home. She is in shock. She goes into her space and zips up the canva. BIRDY hears the zipper and wakes up.)
 
BIRDY
Where did you go? I was going to follow but it was too bright. By the time night fell, I passed out.
 
(TURTLE is frozen in shock. She is mid way through brushing her teeth. BIRDY sees TURTLE is upset and helps her sister by getting her a cup of water to spit out the paste. BIRDY is nursing TURTLE a little bit.)
 
BIRDY
It is usually you taking care of me.
 
TURTLE
Last night, I...
 
BIRDY
Bad dream?
 
TURTLE
That too...but not that... that's not why I'm... I'm
 
BIRDY
You're shaking
 
TURTLE
I saw a man. I thought he was one of your men.

BIRDY
Like I have a harem of men?
 
TURTLE
Snail man, Box man...
BIRDY
The Box man is not 'my' man. He is just a man. Alright?!
 
(BIRDY calms herself down)
 
Go ahead...
 
TURTLE
The man was wearing an overcoat. I thought he might be some sort of serial rapist, child molester, or an exhibitionist at the very least
 
BIRDY
Did he flash you?
TURTLE
No
 
BIRDY
Too bad. You could use a good flashing
 
TURTLE
He must have caught me looking at him, because he quite suddenly took a detour from what had to have been his route and started to follow me.
 
BIRDY
What did you do?
TURTLE
Well, at first I tried to ignore him. I told myself that it was all in my head, but then without being able to control myself I picked up my pace and then I could hear him picking up his pace behind me.
 
BIRDY
Where was this? Were you in a public area? Was it just the two of you?

TURTLE
Well, I was trying not to hyperventilate. I knew the street was full of other people, and I hoped that someone would have the decency to stop this man if he tried to do anything uninvited and lurid. I saw that there was a crosswalk ahead and that the light was turning yellow. So, I tried with all my might to speed up in the hopes that I could use the red light and oncoming traffic to separate myself from this predator, but I couldn't get there in time. The onslaught of cars glued me to the curb. Then like he was beside me trying to pretend that he was oblivious to me, to my desire to be undisturbed, unmolested. He slowly reached for the button of his overcoat. His breathing became pronounced. He twisted evilly at the button unaware of his force til it popped off his chest like a cola cap. I could hear a slow fizzing soda pop sound. Something was shaking inside him fighting to push through his bottle top. His fingers toyed with the flaps of his jacket. I tried to scream but I couldn't. My throat wouldn't work. I clenched my fists preparing to beat off his advance. I closed my eyes. And then... nothing. I slowly opened my eyes and turned. His coat was wide open but all I could see was rows of pirated DVD hanging from the inside of his overcoat.
BIRDY
He was trying to sell you a movie

TURTLE
He was filthy. I got off lucky. He could have tried to force his carnality on me.
BIRDY
What world do you live in?

TURTLE
This world! Understand that? I live in this world! You're the one pumping her body full of chemicals to escape to another place!
 
BIRDY
You know every time I soften up and I think maybe maybe you're alright... You have some stupid sheltered prudish moment like this... you get all weak... and you start in with the judging and the accusations.. you know I was worried to death about you
 
TURTLE
Now you know how I feel
 
BIRDY
Wait! Stop!
 
TURTLE
I could have been killed!
 
BIRDY
Really? Was he going to slit your wrists with a dirty DVD?
 
TURTLE
You don't know! You don't know... you were worried?! Ha!
 
BIRDY
If it is so dangerous and you're so worried, then why did you run out there?
 
TURTLE
I thought there was enough daylight. But it doesn't matter. These men button their coats at you in the full light of day!
 
BIRDY
All the happened is you bumped into some petty crook trying to sell you a pirated film. But, you've blown it all up in your head. He was the Jack the Ripper or Hannibal the Cannibal and to top it off some how it's my fault that you bumped into him.
 
TURTLE
Dont tell me what is real an what is not real! I'm not the one doped up on hallucinogens
 
BIRDY
Is it any wonder that I would want to hallucinate some life other than this?
 
(TURTLE grabs the amulet and starts whispering into it)
 
BIRDY
Don't do that. Don't. She's not in there. She can't save us.
 
(TURTLE zips herself back up)
 
TURTLE
You don't know! You don't know!
 
BIRDY
What are you doing?
 
TURTLE
What do you think?
 
BIRDY
If I had to guess I'd say you were rededicating to clean living?
 
TURTLE
She was right! She has always been right! I stepped outside. I walked next to edge of the precipice. Trouble! Trouble!
 
(BIRDY has had enough. She walks away.)

Put My Finger In Your Mouth
Turtle Dream Intermezzo

Turtle Dream Intermezzo
 
(Mama is there. LITTLE TURTLE has a slingshot. She is trying to shoot down a bird. She does and the bird falls into BABY BIRDY'S cradle.)
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Shaqell O'Neill Roooooooar! Roar!
 
(BABY BIRDY cries in the cradle.
 
LITTLE TURTLE runs to the cradle and coaches BABY BIRDY.)
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Rebound! Be my Dennis Rodman! And rebound Birdy!
 
(MAMA goes over to LITTLE TURTLE. )
 
MAMA
She needs us to take care of her.
 
(MAMA hands LITTLE TURTLE an umbrella painted to look like a turtle shell.)
 
MAMA
Hold it over her whenever the sky is falling.
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Is this going to be enough?
 
(MAMA shrugs she starts to walk away. )
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Wait! Wait! Where are you going?
 
(MAMA points one way. Then she is unsure and she points another. More shrugs, More pointing. )
 
LITTLE TURTLE
We might need you!
 
(MAMA gives LITTLE TURTLE the turtle amulet.)
 
MAMA
Play is ok. But play safe.
 
(MAMA walks away still an image in the dream but not readily apparent to LITTLE TURTLE til the very end. LITTLE TURTLE runs over the BABY BIRDY.)
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Play is ok. She said play is ok. Ready? Ready?
 
(LITTLE TURTLE shoots slingshot again. She has given the umbrella to BABY BIRDY who tries to swing it like a bat or tennis racket. LITTLE TURTLE shoots down a bird or two. It appears as if BB wants to swing at them as they come down.)
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Don't you worry! I'll get you one. I'll get ya a big one to hit! Are you ready!
 
(LT shoots a bird. It falls towards the cradle in slow motion.)
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Get it Birdy! Get it!
 
(BABY BIRDY swings and misses. The dead bird hits her in the cradle. She starts crying. LITTLE TURTLE runs over to the cradle and picks up BABY BIRDY and tries to comfort her.)
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Sorry! Sorry! I got to take better care of you. You look alright! That mean old bluebird didn't hurt my birdy!
 
(LITTLE TURTLE has quieted BABY BIRDY and is about to put her back into the cradle when another dead bird falls into the cradle before the baby goes back in. LITTLE TURTLE pulls the BABY BIRDY back. MAMA calls from a distance.)
 
MAMA
Everything alright?
 
LITTLE TURTLE
Close call
 
(Then it happens! The sky is falling. Dead birds come down like hail stones. LITTLE TURTLE gets herself and BABY BIRDY under the umbrella. She starts screaming for MAMA who she finally can see again being plummeted by the sky. TURTLE wants to run to MAMA who motions for her to stay where she is.)
 
MAMA
Stay safe! You must stay safe!
 
(MAMA is knocked unconscious. Blackout.)

FavoriteThing(s)ThisWeek



Vanessa Prager

Monday, May 25, 2009

PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH
Scene Seven

SCENE SEVEN

BIRDY
It is dullsville here sis. Is this all you do while I'm clubbing? Just sit here.

TURTLE
What do you do at the clubs that is so exciting other than drop your pants and do drugs?

BIRDY
We dance

TURTLE
Really?

BIRDY
Yeah

TURTLE
But, you can't dance

BIRDY
Bullshit I can't

TURTLE
You never could. Neither of us could.

BIRDY
You want me to prove it!?

TURTLE
Show me

BIRDY
I'll show you. Get your fat ass up and I'll show you how to dance.

TURTLE
No no no. I want you to dance. I want you to.

BIRDY
Get up! You said neither of us can dance, and I'm going to prove you wrong.

TURTLE
Alright Birdy! This ought to be good for a laugh.

BIRDY
Alright it is easy. First we are going to stomp. You're not going to lift your whole foot off the floor, more like just your heel.

TURTLE
Look I can stomp

BIRDY
Really

TURTLE
Of course I can stomp. Who can't stomp?

BIRDY
Show me

(She does.)

BIRDY
Alright! Alright! Not bad for a prude. Now lets pick the apples, pick up the shrooms. Pick the apple and pick the shrooms

TURTLE
I can't do this.

BIRDY
You're not even trying. Come on. Apple. Shroom. Apple. Shrooms...that's it you got it.

(Both girls are dancing and laughing)

TURTLE
Picking the apples! Picking the Shrooms! What's next?

BIRDY
Milking the cow.

TURTLE
Milking the cow!

BIRDY
Stroking the bull

TURTLE
Birdy! I'm not stroking the bull?! That's nasty!

BIRDY
Sooner or later everybody's gotta stroke that bull. Come on!

TURTLE
Nnnnnnn...

BIRDY
It's ok. It's just a silly name for a dance step. It doesn't mean anything. It isn't code for anything. It's just the way you wave your hands while you dance

TURTLE
Show me

(BIRDY does)

TURTLE
That's pretty elicit Birdy.

BIRDY
That's just because I told you what it was. If I had called it "polish the stair rail" you wouldn't have a problem at all.

TURTLE
Well then... let's polish the stair rail. Hahaha

BIRDY
Polish Polish Polish Polish

TURTLE
Milking the cow! Polish the rail!

BIRDY
OK you ready for more?

TURTLE
Gimme another!

BIRDY
"Swallow"

TURTLE
What?

BIRDY
"Swallow"!

TURTLE
Swallow what?

BIRDY
Swallow your tongue.

(BIRDY'S steps and facial expression are disturbing to TURTLE who stops and watches, not knowing how to react.)

BIRDY
You don't want to swallow your tongue?

(TURTLE shakes her head no)

BIRDY
OK then how about... Break the cane?

TURTLE
I don't understand...don't like...

BIRDY
You break the candy cane while its still in wrapper. You neck is the cane. Come on do it.

(TURTLE wants to cry.)

TURTLE
No...I'm done!

BIRDY
Don't stop! Don't stop!

TURTLE
I won't do it! I won't break my neck! You can't make me!

BIRDY
It's just pretend!

TURTLE
I wont! I wont do it!

(TURTLE runs away. BIRDY goes a few steps after her but doesn't run for the door, instead she runs to the blinds. She opens them to see where TURTLE went, but the sunlight is too bright!)

BIRDY
Turtle! I'm sorry Turtle! You don't have to dance! Come back!

Friday, May 22, 2009

PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH
Scene Six

Scene Six

BIRDY
Is this still the dream?


TURTLE
No. This is real.

BIRDY
(Waving her arms about as if she were in slow motion underwater) I don't believe you Dream Turtle. Prove it.

(TURTLE pinches BIRDY hard)

BIRDY
Ow! That fucking hurt!

TURTLE
I'm surprised you can feel anything

BIRDY
Don't ever do that pinching shit again! Alright?!

TURTLE
You bitch about my pinching but I know for a fact that you put up with far worse shit from others

BIRDY
(Mocking) I know for a fact meh meh meh meh meh meh...

(TURTLE holds up a dozen or so polaroids.)

TURTLE
You want to talk about these? (BIRDY grabs and pulls a few out of TURTLE'S grasp) Do you even remember posing for these?

BIRDY
Where did you get those?

TURTLE
They were just on floor with the rest of the mess you trailed in here when you got back this morning.

BIRDY
(Looking at the pictures, Laughes) Oh Shit!

TURTLE
This isn't funny Birdy

BIRDY
It's a little funny.

TURTLE
(Pointing to the picture) Where are you panties? I can see your...

BIRDY
Change purse?

TURTLE
I don't know how to ask this...I'm just going to say it...Are you a prosititute?

BIRDY
Whatever! Only you could be prude enough to think such a shitty thing.

TURTLE
Then enlighten me. Why did you do it?

BIRDY
Just a harmless way to score.

TURTLE
Who took these?

BIRDY
Some old guy in a box

TURTLE
Did he...?

BIRDY
No no no. Just the pictures

TURTLE
He didn't hurt you?

BIRDY
He didn't break anything.

TURTLE
Good

BIRDY
I am resilient

TURTLE
No. You're a mess. Don't go out tonight, alright? Take the night off.

BIRDY
Sorry sis. I'm getting back into the club hook or crook.

(BIRDY tries to get up, but she almost falls back down from the fatigue of a little too much partying. TURTLE catches her.)

BIRDY
Maybe, a quiet night at home would be alright. Just this once.

TURTLE
Easy! Take it easy!

BIRDY
Besides, I got supplies

(BIRDY reaches into BIRDY'S SPACE and pulls out a section of cardboard from the BOX MAN'S box.) I got this while the old space man was popping his bulbs

TURTLE
I don't want in here.

BIRDY
Relax. It'll be all be gone in few days. Ha ha! A week at the most!

TURTLE
I don't like it

BIRDY
How do you know you don't?

TURTLE
I've seen what that sorta stuff can do.

BIRDY
Have you ever done it?

TURTLE
(Pause) no

BIRDY
Well then you don't know what you're talking about

TURTLE
Don't tell me what I know and don't know

BIRDY
What a minute...why did you pause

TURTLE
What?

BIRDY
You paused

TURTLE
No I didn't

BIRDY
Yes you did! I asked if you'd done it and then you dot dot dot paused!

TURTLE
I hiccuped

BIRDY
No you didn't bitch

TURTLE
Yes I did! It was a hiccup! Don't go reading to much into my hiccups. You've got me so upset, and I always get hiccups when I get upset!

BIRDY
I sure as hell didn't see you hiccup

TURTLE
Well I did

BIRDY
Do it again

TURTLE
You want me to hiccup up on command?

BIRDY
No! I want to know if you ever dropped a tab

(BIRDY tries to get up to wave the cardboard in front of TURTLE'S face but, again she is weaking than she expects. TURTLE has to steady her again.)

TURTLE
That's it. Let's lie down alright

BIRDY
Maybe. Maybe I will.

Put My Finger In Your Mouth - Dream Intermezzo

Dream Scene - Intermezzo

Who is She? In the dream we can not see.

She has a brown paper bag. She is tired. She is lost. She cradles the paper bag.

She curls down the rim of the paper bag like a wino does to get to the lip of the bottle, but it isn't a bottle. It is a hand. No severed or grotesque more like a wax sculpture. She puts the fingers of the hand her in mouth.

No more. All gone. All gone!

She closes her eyes and lays back. She goes into labor, and gives birth to an 8 pound 6 ounce baby snail!

No! This isn't happening! I saw this in a movie.

The flow of time contracts to time lapse. Swarms of snails cover the stage. They consume her. At first the experience is erotic but it transforms into something horroric.

Closing Weekend!

This is it! Only 2 Performances left for DEVILS DON'T FORGET! BTW this Saturday we will be having a little post show party with some PBR! Call 866-593-4614 for tkts! They're almost gone!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

More Inspirational Concept Stuff for
PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH

Inspirational concept Stuff for PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH

Dennis Frymire on playing Buster in DEVILS DONT FORGET

Dennis Frymire has a post about acting methods employed while performing the role of Buster in the Mammals production of DEVILS DONT FORGET. Whatever he is doing, it works! You really ought to see him take an excellent turn at this Noir Anti-Hero.

The show must close on May 23rd. Call 866-593-4614 to get your tickets or email themammals@gmail.com

Wondering if you are coming out? Check out our review roundup!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

BTW Only a few tickets left this weekend for DEVILS DONT FORGET!

DEVILS DONT FORGET is almost sold out this weekend! It is closing weekend by the way. There will be beer BTW. It is your last chance to see it BTW. Please come on out! It is an awesome show!

866-593-4614 for reservations or
email themammals@gmail.com

PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH Scene Five

Scene Five

(BIRDY is standing alone outside the SNAILMAN'S nightclub. The door is closed. There is no one else outside. She can hear the music blaring inside. She tries the door. It is locked. She pounds. The door is opened just a crack and the big bouncer sticks his head out to see who it is. His face and neck are covered with lipstick kisses. Hands and giggles are beaconing him back inside. He recognizes BIRDY and says...)

BIG BOUNCER
Not tonight

BIRDY
What? Why Not?

BIG BOUNCER
Tomorrow Birdy. Try again tomorrow.

BIRDY
Come on!

BIG BOUNCER
Nah Nah Nah

BIRDY
I'll be super grateful

(BIRDY makes a lude gesture, but BIG BOUNCER points to all the lipstick on his face.)

BIG BOUNCER
Do I look like I'm wanting for a handjob? Tomorrow!

(BIG BOUNCER slams little door shut. BIRDY starts pounding on the door. As she does, a rather large cardboard box begins to move towards her slowly. BIRDY notices the box, she freezing not certain what to think. BOX MAN sticks his head out and smiles. The box itself is BOX MAN'S SPACE. It can open up like a steamer truck. Inside has been decorated with drawings and photographes of women. The drawings are in the style of Robert Crumb. The photos are a vintage style sort of 60's softcore. There are also pockets inside the box that hold all sort of of photography equipment, flash bulbs, telescopic lens, film canasters, slide frames, etc. The BOXMAN is wearing a coon skin cap, huge coke bottle eye glasses, a tattered trench coat over an equally tattered three piece suit. He has on a couple of ties but they are wrapped his neck like avator's scarves. Chewed up pieces of newsprint are stuffed into all the pockets of his suit, they are brassiere adverts from the Sunday paper. His feet are wrapped in second hand ladies undergarments, there are dozens garter belts up his pant legs. He has a long bushy beard.

BOXMAN smiles in BIRDY'S direction but not quite directly at her. BIRDY turns back around and starts banging on the door again hoping to get inside and away from the BOXMAN. BOXMAN produces a pair of opera glasses and turns to BIRDY. BIRDY keeps banging until it is evident that they aren't going to open the door. She turns back to BOXMAN who seems a little less frightening to her now that she can get a better look at him under the street lights. Still she decides to way to overcome her nerves about him is to break the silence.)

BIRDY
I can't get in

BOXMAN
Why not? Can't they recognize a beauty when they see it?

BIRDY
Too full I guess

BOXMAN
Can't they comprehend your unmistakable hotness?

BIRDY
I guess tonight I'm not so hot

BOXMAN
Are they blind to the divinity of your young lady thighs? Mmmmmmm! You make my mouth do that thing it does everytime I eat fresh fruit!

BIRDY
I get it grandpa. You like little girls. I get it

BOXMAN
I'm not used to being this vulnerable, but girl you make me wanta be all Lionel Ritchie

BIRDY
That is weak

BOXMAN
Suddenly....Life has new meaning...to meeeeee....

BIRDY
Shut up

BOXMAN
There's beauty up above...(he starts scatting the rest of the song.)

BIRDY
You dont know when to give up do ya grandpa?

BOXMAN
Dont give me your hostility. I aint the one who bumped you from the party.

BIRDY
Dont rub it in!

BOXMAN
Just cause you can't get into the club doesn't mean that the party's over

BIRDY
Stay a couple yards back alright. You're charming as hell so long as you give me some space man!

BOXMAN
Spaceman! I got some space for ya! That's my point! Outer Space! Ya Dig (Snaps his fingers like beatnik) Coo Coo Ca Choo? Huh? Huh?

BIRDY
Alright...Put your hands in your back pockets, then tell me more.

BOXMAN
You've probably had a fingerful of what the Snailman is secreting, you've gotten the kicks, and now that you've seen the view from the top, squaresville just aint doing it for you anymore. He wont let you in his club tonight? That's alright. I got a club of my own. This box is my club. And any go go goer with gams, any ingenue with nothing to do, any pretty little thing that doesnt mind posing for a few pictures, well that sort of bird is more than welcome to step inside my club. It aint much from the outside, but once inside... (He rips off a piece of cardboard from the box and puts it on his tongue. BOXMAN shivers with delight)...Inside it is a thing of beauty.

BIRDY
I dont know

BOXMAN
(He eats another piece) Do as I do.

BIRDY looks at her tattoo.

BIRDY
OK give me some of that box already

BOXMAN
Show my your box, I'll show you mine.

BIRDY
What? I dont do that?

BOXMAN
Sure you do. You all do. You're a goer. I can tell. But this time it isn't just for a t-shirt

(BIRDY)

BOXMAN
Suddenly...life has new meaning to me (waves the piece of cardboard teasingly) There's beauty up above scat doobie doobie doo doo do bahhhh...

BIRDY
Lookzy but no Touchzy

BOXMAN
Deal. But I want a nice long look!

BIRDY
Alright, we'll countdown.

(BOXMAN nods and lets out a horny giggle)

BOXMAN
Countdown to launch. Launch into space.

BIRDY
For real? Outerspace?

BOXMAN
You'll defy gravity! Mount the hubble backbare.

BIRDY
Let's do this.

BOXMAN
How long a countdown?

BIRDY
Ten seconds? Isn't that what they do on the TV.

BOXMAN
Alright. (BOXMAN gets out an artist pad and crayons and positions himself just outside of reach) I'm ready. Start the countdown.

(BIRDY drops the tab, then with reluctance shows BOXMAN her box. He starts scribbling on the pad, giggling)

BIRDY
10 , 9 , 8

BOXMAN
Slower! Not so fast!

BIRDY
7, 6, 5, 5, 5, 5

(BIRDY stops. She is deep tripping. BOXMAN is scribbling madly til her realizes that she stopped counting. He leans over, still just out of reach)

BOXMAN
Bird Girl! What happened?

BIRDY
Houston, we have a problem

BOXMAN
Ignition!

BIRDY
Not yet

(BOXMAN moves closer, very close, but still doesnt touch)

BOXMAN
Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

BIRDY
Can we cut?

BOXMAN
Nope. You've ignited girl. Nothing let to do but blast off!

BIRDY
Action?

BOXMAN
(Indictating that even if he is close enough to touch, he isnt going to)
I'm a man of my word, girlly dont you worry about that.

BIRDY
(Uncertain but she still says it. She wants to mean it)
Action!

DEVILS and PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH

Well, DEVILS DON'T FORGET has been going really well. I hope you'll consider coming out to see it closing weekend if you haven't already.

Next on the agenda for me is to complete the script I'm writing for Right Brain Project. It is called PUT MY FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH! It combines elements of classic fairy tales with a twisted ironic look at club culture. I am having a blast writing it.

Strindberg's Dream Play performed on the balcony at Studio 54!

Monday, May 18, 2009

DEVILS DONT FORGET Industry Night! Still Tickets Available!

But we are nearly sold out. Call us if you want to come out tonight and see the show!
866-593-4614!

After tonight, Only 2 more performances... the show must close of May 23rd!

Friday, May 15, 2009

From Today's Mammal Blog post

Tonight Friday 15th is sold out! Tomorrow Sat 16th still got 2 tkts left! Monday 18th only 2tkts left! DEVILS DONT FORGET! 866-593-4614!

Get your tickets for closing weekend! Two performances left! The show must close on May 23rd!

Not sure if you can make it out? Check out our review roundup! We hope it will change your mind!

See you soon!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Rough Cut Fairy Tale 2nd Pass Scene Four

TURTLE and BIRDY at the breakfast nook aka MAMA'S SPACE. Very tiny nook, so tiny that they both have to eat off the same plate. BIRDY holds the plate. TURTLE has the skillet and is using the spatula to get the bacon still sizzling off the pan and onto the plate. It is a very delibrate process, a ritual almost.

BIRDY
Bacon

TURTLE
I perfer the old standby

BIRDY
If I never eat another egg white omelet, it will be too soon.

TURTLE
I can't seem to get it

(TURTLE is speaking of the last piece of bacon in the pan.)

BIRDY
Hurry up

(TURTLE finally gets it but spills a little bacon fat on BIRDY. It burns)

TURTLE
Sorrysorrysorrysorry

BIRDY
You did that on purpose!

TURTLE
No!

BIRDY
You never burned me before! Not even once!

TURTLE
It was an accident. Egg whites dont give off this kind of grease! I'm not used to it!

BIRDY
Fucking Bullshit!

TURTLE
Please relax alright!

(BIRDY looks at the burn. It stings but doesnt seem to be too serious. She gestures a whatever. TURTLE touches BIRDY'S head in an attempt to console/apologize. BIRDY shakes her off.)

BIRDY
Just sit. I'm fine.

(TURTLE puts the pot and spatula away. She returns with two forks in her right hand, one for her and one for BIRDY. She sits, lifts the Turtle Shell necklace with her other hand and gives it a kiss. She then offers the shell to BIRDY to kiss. BIRDY resists)

TURTLE
Do it

BIRDY
Not now

TURTLE
But I need you to. You know I can't relax if you don't blow the shell a kiss

BIRDY
I said not now!

TURTLE
Come on girl! Give me some 'action'!

BIRDY
Do not mock the tat. Serious shit will befall your ass, you mock this tat!

TURTLE
(pause) Is it really too much too ask? (TURTLE pouts. She has still not given BIRDY a fork to eat with)

BIRDY
Give me that shell! Kiss Kiss Kiss Frenchy Kiss! OK? I kissed it. I'm making a big show of kissing mama's shell!

TURTLE
Be careful! Don't break it!

BIRDY
I'm not going to break it

TURTLE
I'll never recover if you break it.

BIRDY
I didnt break it. Can we eat now?

TURTLE
You may not want to admit it, but it relaxs you too!

BIRDY
No

TURTLE
Yes! Yes! It does!

BIRDY
No it doesn't

TURTLE
Yes! It! Does! Becuase Mama says it does!

BIRDY
'Said' it does.

(BIRDY snatches the fork from TURTLE. They begin eating)

TURTLE
That's why she made us promise.

BIRDY
So we'd relax?

TURTLE
So we'd rededicate ourselves before every meal to clean living. Kiss our way to clean living. That rededication is what is so comforting so relaxing

BIRDY
Maybe I don't want to relax into clean living

TURTLE
Maybe!? It is not up to you?

BIRDY
No?

TURTLE
Not while you take your breakfast at this table. This is Mama's table.

(pause)

BIRDY
Can you tell me something nice about her. Anything nice at all?

TURTLE
What does that mean?

BIRDY
Every morning, every story, it is kiss the shell! It's a story about how she worried to death. How she attempts to control us from beyond the grave.

TURTLE
It is for our own good

BIRDY
Well, I'm at odds with it. All this bullshit is getting in the way of my dreams

TURTLE
Your dreams are not worthy of you.

BIRDY
Fuck you!

TURTLE
Mother knew that

BIRDY
See, this is exactly what I mean. Always this kind of talk when we jaw about her. A scowl and pointing finger from beyond the grave. Did she ever do anything other than scold and warn?

TURTLE
She loved us

BIRDY
Well then I want to hear about something loving

TURTLE
She used to sing to us.

BIRDY
(pause)OK, that's nice. What did she sing?

TURTLE
"Slow and Steady wins the race"

BIRDY
Of course she did

TURTLE
Close your eyes and I'll sing it to you. I love that song!

BIRDY
No! (BIRDY tosses her fork down on the plate angry)

TURTLE
What I want to know is...where's the gratitude?

BIRDY
Gratitude for what? For constantly bitching at me and running me down? For reminding me every single day that so far as you're concerned... I just dont measure up to some dead woman's expectations? A dead woman who might as well be a stranger as my mother!

TURTLE
I've never heard you say thank you. Never once!

BIRDY
Fine! Thank you!

TURTLE
Do you mean it?

BIRDY
Yes!

TURTLE
Then can't you say it like you mean it?

BIRDY
UGHHHH!

TURTLE
Say it slow and soft. Say it like a dandelion would!

BIRDY
TTTTTTHHHHHHHHAAAAANNNNNNNNNKKKKKK

TURTLE
Forget it

BIRDY
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

TURTLE
Just once like you meant it. That is all I ask.

BIRDY
Not true. You want that, plus the kissing the shell, the rededication every breakfast to clean living. It never stops. If it were up to you I'd be saying thank you again and again and again.

TURTLE
We have want we have because of me. OK? Becuase of mother's sacrifice. And my sustaining this nest, this home!

BIRDY
Well you should to thankful too?

TURTLE
To you? For what?

BIRDY
I'm the only thing exciting in your life.

TURTLE
That is bullshit

BIRDY
So, I'd like a little appreciation for all this high quality vicarious living I'm providing you.

TURTLE
You can keep it

BIRDY
Life! It's called a life!

TURTLE
I'm living Birdy alright? I'm living just fine!

BIRDY
Too much fear! Too much cowering!

TURTLE
Clean living, Birdy. It aint nothing but the joy of clean living.

BIRDY
Dead on arrival is more like it. No partying. No nothing?

TURTLE
The key to a better life. It aint easy, but it is what mama wanted. Her gift to us before she went. And now my gift to you, even though you don't deserve it!

BIRDY
It used to feel like a gift, but not anymore. Now, you're just bringing me down.

TURTLE
I dont mean too. I'm sorry. Listen, lets just have a nice breakfast. Nice and easy. No more demands except that we chew our food.

BIRDY
Little late for that this morning. I'm done.

TURTLE
Do go away angry

BIRDY
Kiss me byebye for today. I'll be back whenever.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tickets are going...going... Call for tickets to DEVILS DONT FORGET

Tickets for this weekend's performances of DEVILS DON'T FORGET are almost gone. We've got 3 left for Friday and 6 left for Saturday!

Also, don't forget...we've added an actor/industry night on Monday the 18th @ 8pm.

Call to make your reservation! 866-593-4614!

Monday, May 11, 2009

More Concept Art!
Tickets to DEVILS are almost gone!

Check it out! http://bit.ly/11eAUs

The great thing about the summer is that even though I am taking a break from directing/producing full shows... I do get to focus on finishing both MEATLOCKER as well as starting DEVILS DON'T FORGET graphic novelizations!

BTW...DEVILS is selling out. Show must close May 23rd and the remaining performances are already half sold. Call asap for your tickets 866-593-4614 or email me at themammals@gmail.com!

Friday, May 08, 2009

Review Round Up for DEVILS DONT FORGET

We got links to all the ink over at http://chicagomammals.com

As an incurable fan of Samuel Beckett

http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/theater/74221/samuel-beckett-helen-shaw-waiting-for-godot

I came across this today thanks to Issac at parabasis.

I love Beckett, and 9 times out of 10 find that perceived faults in his work are actually those of the folks trying to produce it. If this article interests anyone please let know. I love the sort of conversations I think this writer is trying to start.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Rough Cut Fairy Tale 2nd Pass Scene Three

(Same Night at the SNAILMAN'S club. BIRDY is just inside the door in the midst of a gang of girls and transvestites trying to push their way past the bouncers. The BIG BOUNCER yells barely audible over the music)

BIG BOUNCER
Bitches and He Shes... step back!

(General dismay and cat calls from the group. BIRDY pushes her way to the front and makes eyes at the BIG BOUNCER)

BIG BOUNCER
What? What?!

(BIRDY cups his balls and whispers in his ear. BIG BOUNCER lets her inside the club. Along the back wall of the club is a dangerous glamorous gang, the SNAILMAN'S gang.
One of SNAILMAN'S gang is juggling what appears to be baseball sized pills or capsules. Two club girls are trying to get him to lose his concentration on drop the capsules. A small crowd has gathered to see who will prevail, the juggler or the club girls. The girls dance for him, then they kiss a little bit. Finally one of them takes off her top, and the juggler drops the pills. The crowd goes wild. The girls rush the floor for the pills. There is a man with a video camera and another with a boom mic. They've been broadcasting the whole thing onto flat screen TVs hanging throughout the entire club. They hand out t-shirts to the two club girls and another other women in the immediate vicinity that will take off their tops.)

VIDEO GUY
Laaaaaast Teee shirt!

(The girls descend like piranhas, except for BIRDY who is entertained but still remaining out of the fracas. By the time it is over, the VIDEO GUY and the BOOM MIC GUY are a little beat up, equipment damaged or broken, and stripped down to their underwear. They are bleeding, laughing and rolling on the floor with the remaining girls too high to give a damn. BIRDY is able to snag a t-shirt from a girl who is hysterically laughing and limping for the ladies room.

Sudden light and sound cue. The SNAILMAN is making his entrance. Everyone turns to look. All eyes and the video cameras are aimed at the SNAILMAN standing regally over his nightclub realm. The SNAILMAN is wearing a king's floor length cape. All one can see is his glammed up eyelashes and his ears one of with is adorned with an earring in the shape of a snail's shell. The SNAILMAN'S BOY BITCH pulls the cape off like a magician might. Sudden music cue. Everybody tries to go back to what they where doing. Let pretend to dance and mingle. Let try not to look at the SNAILMAN as he moves across the floor in slow languid motion. With the cape gone we can see he is shirtless, wearing roughed up blue jeans. His belt has a western buckle shaped like a snail shell. His fingers are unnaturally long yet still graceful. Rings on all his fingers, again in the shape of snail shells. He is also wearing crocs that have been bedazzled. The whole appearance is a mash up of iggy pop punk and bowie-like glam. As he passes people on the dance floor, they all attempt causally to touch his fingers. His fingers secrete a hallucinogenic resin. He lets some people touch him, others not. Once he has decided not to allow someone resin, it seems the bouncers are already pushing them towards the exits. BIRDY is mesmerized. She drops the t-shirt. She is the only one not pretending to not look. She turns her ankle to look at the tattoo, then she pantomimes a hollywood clapboard.)

BIRDY
Action!

(SNAILMAN continues toward her. Then her notices her, how she is looking right at him. She is different than the rest of the gang/harem. She is fresh meat. He stops watches and waits until she approaches him. BIRDY puts her hands on his waist. He lets her.)

SNAILMAN
What's you're name?

BIRDY
Birdy. What's yours?

SNAILMAN
Really?

BIRDY
Don't be an asshole. Tell me your name.

SNAILMAN
Snail...I'm the Snail and this is my club. You really didn't know that?

BIRDY
Did I hurt your feelings?

SNAILMAN
No. It is just I never met anybody who didn't know that.

BIRDY
This place is great!

SNAILMAN
I know

(BIRDY is starting to get a little put off by his condescension. She begins to move away, but he holds her wrist.)

SNAILMAN
Don't go. Not yet.

(One of the club girls tries to sneak up from behind and get some resin from SNAILMAN'S fingers. He rejects her. The BIG BOUNCER throws a bag over her head and takes her away.)

BIRDY
What was that?!

SNAILMAN
She shouldn't have snuck up from behind.

BIRDY
Why'd she do that?

SNAILMAN
Put my finger in your mouth

(Birdy does. She is amazed at how much she likes it. She starts making little noises of pleasure.)

SNAILMAN
That's why. How does it taste?

BIRDY
Slow, languid.

SNAILMAN
It tastes languid.

BIRDY
Slow spring bloom. Summer rain that wont hit the asphalt

SNAILMAN
It cant man. It cant. Why would it want to

BIRDY
I beat my wings and fly fly fly, but this is different

SNAILMAN
Float Birdy, Float like cool whip.

BIRDY
Give me your other finger

(He teases her with it. But eventually he does. BLACKOUT)

Rough Cut Fairy Tale 2nd Pass Scene 2

Scene Two

(Late at Night. Darkness. A deep muted booming sound that slowly grows. A small pin of light falls onto TURTLE in front TURTLE'S SPACE. TURTLE'S SPACE is very precious space filled with decorative china, ceramic figurines, various other domestic kitsch all decorated with various Turtles. Surrounding TURTLE'S SPACE is a deep army green fabric that can be zippered up from the inside. The green fabric has various holes from which TURTLE can peek out or point an accusing finger. TURTLE hears the booming sound. She thinks it is her heart. She fears she is having a heart attack. TURTLE has an empty turtle shell, a sort of large amulet she wears around her neck that she talks to when she wants to speak to her dead mother. One hand over her heart, the other holding the shell up to her lips.)

TURTLE
Mama? Mama is it my heart? Please take it away mama? Take it away.

(The sound subsides. TURTLE smiles.)

TURTLE
Thank you Mama

(TURTLE turns and starts dusting the turtle figurines with the feather duster. The booming returns a little quieter than before, so quiet perhaps that TURTLE senses something is wrong, but can't put her finger on it. She stops dusting and holds the duster close to her face trying to look into the feathers. She picks at the feathers as if she sees something dirty stuck to them. She then looks at her feet. She kicks off one of her boots, peels off the sock and examines her ankle, running her fingers over it, drawing an imaginary pattern. The booming gets louder. Now TURTLE can hear it again. She panics for a moment. She checks her own pulse, but...)

TURTLE
It is not mine. Mama, it is not mine.

(TURTLE turns to the cheap venetian blinds. Blue light, moonlight barely registers.)

TURTLE
Birdy! It is Birdy's heart Mama. Poor Birdy's heart. I don't like it. I don't like the way it beats. But, I can't stop her Mama. I don't know how.

(TURTLE goes to the window and opens the blinds. TURTLE whistles trying to call her sister home.)

TURTLE
Come home Birdy? It's Bad out there come home.

(Nothing. BIRDY isn't coming when she's called. The Booming has grown even louder. TURTLE can't stand it. She tries to cover her ears. She retreats back in her space and pulls closed the zipper. From inside TURTLE'S SPACE we hear her...)

TURTLE
Come home Birdy. Please come home.

(BLACKOUT)

Chicago Tribune Loves DEVILS DONT FORGET!

The Chicago Tribune Raves about DEVILS DONT FORGET!!!

http://themammals.blogspot.com/2009/05/hey-look-at-this-chicago-trib-digs.html

Get tickets while they last 866-593-4614

Remaining performances

May 8,9
May 15,16
May 22,23

All performances are at 8pm – BYOB

RBP – Rorschach Space
4001 N. Ravenswood Ste 405
Chicago, IL 60613

FavoriteThing(s)ThisWeek



Here you go, you can have all my money!

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Rough Cut Fairy Tale 2nd Pass Scene One

(Morning. Sun can heard outside blazing like an inferno when a bit of beam creeps through the fake plastic venetian blinds situated upstage. Downstage is BIRDY in BIRDY'S SPACE. It si hard to tell if BIRDY is a young vicious woman, an angry teen who's using her hormones to burn through the last of her baby fat. BIRDY'S SPACE is a sort of combination between Joseph Cornell Light Box and a fortress built out of pillows and sofa cushions. BIRDY is passed out on her stomach. BIRDY'S SPACE is comfortable and ornate, but small enough that when she lies down, BIRDY'S feet protrude from onside as her head ans shoulders protrude from the other. Next to BIRDY'S face, which is almost flattened into the shag carpet, is am mp3 player and headphones set so loud we can hear the tinny sound of whatever she was listening too last night. From offstage we hear TURTLE.)

TURTLE - Morning!

BIRDY - Not Yet

TURTLE - Time to get up!

BIRDY - (Under her breath) Shut the fuck up

TURTLE - Cockadoodle do Shit head!

BIRDY - Leave me alone

TURTLE enters. TURTLE is BIRDY'S older sister, but only by a few years. Still those few years have seemed a dog's age. TURTLE still has a apple of youth to her cheek, even if her demeanor is one of always striving towards maturity, soberity, chastity. TURTLE is dressed in two layers. Her first layer is a flannel shirt, dickie's blue jeans, and Steel Toe Slip resistent boots from Wal Mart. The second layer on top of that is a 50's Donna Reed style dress, pearls, and a flowery apron. TURTLE has a feather duster in her hand. She is annoyed with BIRDY. She goes to the blinds and opens them. The light invades the space like a flamethrow's would. BIRDY cries almost screams

BIRDY - Too much! Too much! Shut the blinds!

TURTLE - Are you getting up!

BIRDY - Shut the blinds bitch!

TURTLE - Promise

BIRDY - (Transylvanian accent) But, I'm a Monster!

(TURTLE shuts blinds for a second. BIRDY falls back down as if to sleep. TURTLE hits her again with the light. BIRDY hisses like a vampire.)

BIRDY
Fine! Fine! (BIRDY hasnt yet moved)

TURTLE
Roll over on your back

BIRDY
What?

TURTLE
Roll over on your back, so I know you wont fall asleep again

BIRDY
Bitch that shit only works on you. I can sleep all I want on my back.

TURTLE
How do I know you wont fall back to sleep again?

BIRDY
You don't! Not unless you cook me some breakfast

TURTLE
I always cook breakfast

BIRDY
And I always wake up to eat it don't I?

TURTLE
Touche' Shithead Touche'

BIRDY
I want bacon

TURTLE
Bacon?

BIRDY
Yeah!

TURTLE
You never used to eat bacon

BIRDY
Last night I had half of some guy's moon over my hammy, and now (snaps her fingers) Just like that... I eat bacon.

TURTLE
What you need is fresh fruit (TURTLE sees something on BIRDY'S ankle. She tries to brush it of with the feather duster) Vitamins are good for you.

BIRDY
(Face fallen back into the shag carpet) Bacon's better. Better for a hangover.

TURTLE
Alright you can stop rubbing it in my face! You drink I get it!

BIRDY
Alot

TURTLE
Alot!

BIRDY
I drink alot! And now you get it! (TURTLE has been trying to brush something off of BIRDY'S foot) Stop that! I'm up alright! I'm up! (BIRDY finally rolls over and starts to stretch and wake)

TURTLE
You've got something there

BIRDY
Yeah

TURTLE
Is that a scratch? Some dirt?

BIRDY
Something dirty you mean? Ha!

TURTLE
You didn't track it in here? How hard is it to clean you feet? Huh?

BIRDY
Stop! It's not coming off (BIRDY wipes at it to show).

TURTLE
I hope that isnt what I think it is

BIRDY
"I hope that isnt what I meh meh meh"

TURTLE
Oh No Oh No you didn't! Please tell me you didn't. (TURTLE has dropped the feather duster and fallen to her knees almost at the verge of tears)

BIRDY
(hesitant. This little bit of rebellion isnt as fun as she thought it would be). I did

TURTLE
A tattoo?

BIRDY
Yes?

TURTLE
(To the heavens) I'm sorry mother.

BIRDY
Stop that already

TURTLE
What is it? It doesnt even look like anything?

BIRDY
It is a letter

TURTLE
A letter?

BIRDY
Yeah

TURTLE
It doesnt look like a letter

BIRDY
Chinese letter, or rather character?

TURTLE
Do you know any Chinese?

BIRDY
A little

TURTLE
What is it supposed to mean?

BIRDY
It is the Chinese character for Bacon!

(TURTLES face drops. She keeps repeating over and over...)
TURTLE

I'm sorry mother. I'm sorry mother.

BIRDY
It was a joke Turtle

TURTLE
Well how was I supposed to know that?

BIRDY
You really think I'm dumb enough to get the word 'bacon' tattooed on my ankle in Chinese?

TURTLE
I never thought you were stupid enough to get a tattoo of anykind anywhere on your body.

BIRDY
Why not? It's fun!

TURTLE
It is forever. Unless you get those painful laser needle things, you are going to have to go around forever with...that on your ankle. Whatever the heck that means? What does it mean? Really?

BIRDY
Really?

TURTLE
Please

BIRDY
I don't know

TURTLE
You don't know what it means? What would possess you to get it?

BIRDY
I thought it looked neat

TURTLE
But it isnt just decoration!

BIRDY
Why not?

TURTLE
No! It means something

BIRDY
No it doesn't

TURTLE
Yes it does. And you don't even know what it means? It could be something terrible

BIRDY
Wooooooo! Something terrible!

TURTLE
It could be asian for 'slut' or 'whore'

BIRDY
Or 'Devvvvvilllll!'

TURTLE
Oh no! Oh no!

BIRDY
Alright! Alright! It doesn't mean devil

TURTLE
How do you know that? Look at it? I think it might! The letter even looks like it has horns.

BIRDY
It doesnt mean devil!

TURTLE
What then?

BIRDY
The tattoo guy told me there was no literal word to compare it too, but if he had to it would better something like "action!"

TURTLE
Action!

BIRDY
Like when they shoot a picture and everything happens! "Action" "Move" "Go Go Go"

TURTLE
Mother is rolling in her grave

BIRDY
Well, she's going to have to get use to it. Any so will you.

TURTLE
Yeah?

BIRDY
Yeah?

TURTLE
Well then! Make your own fucking breakfast (TURTLE reaches into the pocket of her apron takes out a spatula and throws it at BIRDY. TURTLE gets up to go, but before she leaves she opens the blinds again. BIRDY covers her eyes and yells "shit!". The Sun burns like inferno until the blackout)

FavoriteThing(s)ThisWeek



Kathleen Lolley

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Meet the Crew!



Jesus Contreras

DEVILS DON'T FORGET

Next weekend already half sold!

Call for your reservations!

866-593-4614

Meet Adam Dodds and Anya Clingman
Meet Katherine Swan
Meet Gabe Garza

Meet Don Hall
Meet Susan Myburgh
Meet Dennis Frymire

DEVILS DON'T FORGET

Performance Dates are as follows

May 1,2
May 8,9
May 15,16
May 22,23

All performances are at 8pm – BYOB

RBP – Rorschach Space
4001 N. Ravenswood Ste 405
Chicago, IL 60613

Performances From May 1st thru May 16th suggested donations $15.00. May 22nd and May 23 will be closing weekend fundraisers. Tickets for May 22nd and May 23rd are $15.00 (post show party and drinks included)

Reservations can be made by calling 866-593-4614 For more info check out chicagomammals.com, themammals.blogspot.com or just type Chicago Mammals into your facebook!!!

Friday, May 01, 2009